Thoughts & Theories on the Tango of life

It’s March and the months are flying by. Were already offically in summer time in Europe and we’re getting lots of lovely sunshine so why do I judge myself as lacking in progress?  

I have achieved many goals since the beginning of the year ( albeit they were small but important achievements for my studies) and yet I still feel the social pressure to conform.  After being made redundant at the end of 2016 and recently finishing a 7 week contracting role,  the first question I get from others is, any luck with a new job?  Why the pressure?  Well now I feel the judgement of others is indicating that I should be making more progress. 

I know there is no point in me taking on a role where I cannot be myself or doing something I really dislike just to earn money.  I know because I tried that before and it made me physically sick.  Now I’m not prone to illnesses and the last time I was really sick was when I changed jobs 10 years ago. I accepted a new job that was just the wrong environment for me. I didn’t listen to my gut then when I should have and I followed a money trail instead.  The gut really can control your mind, there is a reason why the old wives saying “feeling physically sick to the stomach” and “having a gut feeling about something” have hung around so long – we relate to them emotionally. 

So whilst I believe everything happens for a reason and that we are where we are supposed to be, its very challenging to keep my focus on the success I know I’m achieving daily when others can’t see my vision or viewpoint. 

People mean well, but don’t realise that a minor throw away comment from others can create a major crisis within another, because we all judge ourselves more than we judge others.  And let’s face it we all judge others, whether its an attitude, an obsession, hobby or a piece of clothing – we judge, maybe not explicitly but certainly implicitly! 

I’m learning not to be so hard on myself but it is a challenge and it becomes more challenging when others question my actions ( or perceived lack of).  So why can’t I just feel happy with my own decisions and the position I find myself in my life right now. Who says I should have something different or more?  Social conformity, thats who and it is very difficult to stand from the viewpoint of outside the norm, even when we choose it. 

So for now, I focus on gratitude, I am blessed with good health and my parents are as healthy as can be expected for Octogenarians ( they’re doing pretty good!). My siblings are healthy and striving for their own life goals.  Most importantly I am forever appreciative of the love and support of my family and friends. 

So life is good, improving daily and I’m grateful for what has been, what is in the here and now and what has yet to come.  A slow and steady pace is better than running out of steam trying to win a particular race! 

Thank you 💗